Thursday, January 28

Somedays

Somedays it's so easy to get caught up in the moment, to forget where you've come from and how long the trip has taken.

And others days you can't shake it any better than anything else.

You wake up with it, from a dream that haunts you all day and into the night.

You roll over to take in a good, long look at the miracle peacefully sleeping within arms reach.

Your heart fills with the warm fuzzies that you've heard so much about but rarely truly encountered.

You'd think this would do it. Off to the day. To deal with the weather and the traffic, the suddenly never ending poopy diapers and the hurry, hurry, hurry.

But not this day.

Everything you do, you do with a nagging something in the back of your mind. A slight tugging from behind. It implores you to stop and recall, it tempts you into its wonderment. You can't help but feel it's lure.

Eventually you give in. You go to the diaper bag and finally bring yourself to reading the discharge summary. You get to the bottom of page one and are amazed at how quickly your mind heals over the harsh. By page 12, of 19, you've hit your max and have to turn away. It's still too fresh, to sore to fully deal.

But you feel an odd sense of renew, refreshment, encouragement...hope.

We've come so far. It's cost so much, more than $2.8 million at last note. Must be something spectacular in the future.

For another parent that might be Yale or perhaps an M.D. but we're quite content with smiles and kisses.

It's been hard, it still might be, but I thank God for it every single night. I do.



5 comments :

  1. wow, great post katrina. this is exactly how I feel but it is hard to put it into words. thanks for the insight and sharing, it really helped me a lot to read it. Being at the "year" mark has brought on a whole other slew of those painful memories and while I would never wish it upon anyone else, it is nice to know I'm not alone in those feelings. A lot of it has faded and I hope more will fade as time goes on and I hope it does for you too. Their cute smiling faces do their part to help, these little miracle boys.
    Bryce is looking AMAZING. I love all your posts and pictures and we think of you often.

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  2. That anchor in your life is the best reflective tool you can have.

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  3. God picked you and Caleb for Bryce, and Bryce for you and Caleb. You are a special family blessed by God.

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  4. Beautifully written, Katrina. Your family has truly been blessed with a miracle from God.

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  5. God is good! You guys are such a beautiful family! Through all the struggles and heartache ya'll went through, God was right there! That's so awesome!

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