Thursday, May 5

POST traumatic stress disorder

I guess the thing about PTSD is it can hit you anywhere, anytime. You might be perfectly happy and just enough distracted by this, that and the other that you don't even see it coming. That's how it happened to me this morning.

Standing in line at Starbucks I recognized a glassy-eyed look on another woman's face. I saw in her blank stare that while she was standing right next to me smiling politely she was all together somewhere else.

My mind instantly and without my control went to the days that Bryce was his sickest and I'd escape the NICU for 10 or 15 minutes to walk to the nearby Starbucks. I was never where my body was, my mind was always with Bryce.

There were so many days that I spent all of my energy fighting back the sinking feeling that I was going to lose my precious baby boy. This child who had spent so little time growing inside of me and even less time where I could see him and occasionally touch him. I felt like at once I knew and loved him more than anyone else in my life and like I hadn't yet had a chance to really know him and love him for who he could be.

So I'd walk around Dell, down the busy streets in the blazing heat to a familiar place, because all Starbucks are the same, and I'd order my usual. I'd stand there in line and smile vacantly at strangers wondering maddeningly how all these people could go about their lives so nonchalantly, how could they go for coffee, laugh at dumb jokes and worry about their petty problems.

Didn't they know I was losing my baby boy!? Didn't they know that as we stood there he was fighting for his life!?

It's been about a year and half since Bryce came home from Dell and just a bit longer than that since we've been sure we would get to see him grow bigger and be his own person.

It seems it's just long enough to distract yourself laughing at dumb jokes and worrying too much about things that don't really matter. But low and behold, it's not long enough to forget that awful feeling, it's not too long to find yourself suddenly fighting back tears and feeling as if you'll throw up while waiting for your morning coffee.

Every day, thousands of babies, just like Bryce, are born too soon, too small and often very sick.

Wouldn't it be an awesome tribute to Bryce's incredible fight to have a huge group walking in his honor this Saturday?

But, if you can't walk with us, please help by donating to our team. To make a donation or sign up to walk with us visit the teamBAM! page.

Thank you for helping us support the March of Dimes in their mission to give all babies a healthy start!

Tuesday, May 3

March for Babies THIS SATURDAY

Since you've all heard or read my plea regarding the March of Dimes I'll spare you the long version and just say this...

Medical practices and medicines responsible, at least in part, for Bryce's survival were discovered by March of Dimes' researchers on money raised by them and people like you and me.

Please help us help them save even more babies lives by walking with us this Saturday, May 7th at 9 a.m. at Auditorium Shores right here in Austin, Texas.

What better way is there to spend your Saturday morning then helping save babies lives?

Come by, see Bryce and walk with us!


teamBAM March for Babies Walk Day Details:
  • We'll be there by 8 a.m. with light breakfast snacks, coffee and ... t-shirts!!
  • The walk starts at 9 a.m.
  • teamBAM will have a blue 10' x 10' tent set up just for our team where you can meet up with us anytime before 8:50 a.m. (after that find us in the crowd getting ready to walk)
  • When you enter Auditorium Shores from Riverside Dr. our tent will be on your left (as you walk toward the water) kind of between/before the large BBVA Compass tent and the huge Family Teams Tent
  • We'll also be around after the walk for at least an hour for fellowship and ... t-shirts!!
  • Riverside Drive will be CLOSED from Lamar to 1st St.
  • Paid Parking will be available at:
- Palmer Events Center Garage at 900 Barton Springs Rd for $7
- One Texas Center Garage at 505 Barton Springs Rd for $7
- Austin Convention Center at 500 E. Cesar Chavez for $8
  • Don't park at Hooter's, Auditorium Shores lot, Homestead Hotel or in nearby neighborhoods as they will be towing. (And please don't make me tell you I told you so, ha!)
  • Tug's BBQ will provide sausage wraps and chips for just $1 and part of the proceeds will go back to the March of Dimes!
  • In an effort to go green there will not be water bottles provided this year but there WILL be "WaterMonsters" to fill up your own cups/bottles